When Your Kid Asks "What Kind of Asian Are We?"
Neil G. Ruiz's Everyday Americans lands November 17, built on Pew's big Asian American survey. When a kid asks what kind of Asian you are, match the answer to their age and keep the book for after bedtime.
The question usually lands in the car, not in a seminar.
"What kind of Asian are we?" Your kid heard a classmate say Chinese, or saw a checkbox that only said Asian, or watched a relative correct someone at dinner.
Neil G. Ruiz's Everyday Americans: Asians in the U.S. Today arrives November 17 from Third State Books and Pew Research Center. It is written for adults. Read it after bedtime, and keep tonight's answer short enough for the drive home.
Kids repeat the words they hear at home. Leave them a sentence they can say at school when the form only offers one box.
What the Pew numbers make easier to say
Pew asked Asian adults how they describe themselves most often. About half led with a specific heritage, alone or paired with American. Only about three in ten led with Asian or Asian American.
Pan-ethnic words still matter on school forms and in politics. At home, you can still sound specific: Filipino, Korean American, Chinese and white, Taiwanese and Vietnamese, South Asian. The survey is full of households that do not share one label.
Ruiz wrote Everyday Americans for grown-ups who want the data and the focus-group voices in one place. Pre-order or grab it next week. Leave it off the seven-year-old's homework pile.
For a young child
Stay concrete. Talk about names, food, language, and the people they know.
Try: "Asian is a big word for many families. In our family, Gong Gong is from Taiwan, and Grandma is from Korea. You are Taiwanese and Korean. You are also American, because this is where we live."
If only one side is Asian: "Dad's family is Filipino. Mom's family is Irish and Mexican. You get all of those. Asian is one of the words people use for Dad's side."
If they ask again tomorrow, say the same short version. Repeating it helps more than polishing it.
For a grade-schooler with a family tree
School worksheets often want a single box. Your tree can carry more than one branch.
Try: "On the paper, write the specific places and languages we know: Chinese on this branch, Indian on that one, or Chinese American if that is how we say it at home. If the sheet only has Asian, you can write Asian and then add the specific words in the blank, or on the back."
You can also say: "Some grown-ups say Asian. Some say Asian American. In a big Pew survey, a lot of people named their family's country or language first. You can do that too."
If a teacher wants one bubble only, practice a calm line: "My family is more than one thing. I put both."
For a teen who wants their own words
Give them room before you correct the label.
Try: "You get to choose how you introduce yourself. Filipino American, mixed, Asian, just your name first. A college form is not the same as a cousin group chat."
Then: "Adults in Ruiz's Pew work do not all pick the same word either. About half lean on a specific heritage. Some use Asian American. Some say American alone. Your words can shift as you learn more about our family."
If they reject a word a grandparent loves, try: "Gong Gong may prefer Chinese. You can still say Chinese American, or mixed. Tell him what you mean when you use your word."
After the answer
Ask one follow-up: "What made you ask today?" The classmate comment, the form, or the relative usually matters more than the dictionary.
Write your household's working phrase on a sticky note inside a cabinet for a week. Change it when someone finds a better fit.
If you want the long adult version, read Everyday Americans when the kids are asleep.