Young Men Still Want Marriage. Jobs and Money Are the Brake.
An Institute for Family Studies YouGov survey of 2,000 U.S. men ages 18 to 29 finds 68% of unmarried young men still want to marry someday, and 62% of childless men still want kids. The gap is circumstances, not a collapse of desire.
The loud story about young men is that they have checked out of marriage. A March 2026 Institute for Family Studies report says something quieter and more useful: most still want the destination. Many just cannot see a clean path to it.
In America’s Demoralized Men, Part 1: Worthy Aspirations, Trying Circumstances, Joseph E. Davis, Michael Toscano, and Ken Burchfiel analyze a YouGov survey fielded April 7 to 15, 2025, with a representative sample of 2,000 U.S. men ages 18 to 29.
The authors’ frame is blunt. Hopes are being frustrated. Young men are not simply demoralized into apathy.
Love is hard for them right now. Fifty-nine percent were not in a romantic relationship when surveyed. Among those not partnered, 74% were still open to dating.
Among unmarried men, 68% said they want to marry someday. Another 21% were unsure. Only about one in ten said no.
Among childless men, 62% said they want to be a parent someday.
That is not a generation walking away from family. It is a generation waiting on jobs, money, and a partner who feels possible.
Marriage and kids still travel together
Among young men who want marriage, 82% also want children someday. Flip it: among those who want kids, 90% also want marriage. Only tiny shares want one without the other. Desire still links the two, even when calendars do not.
Family arguments often treat delayed marriage as proof young men rejected commitment. IFS’s YouGov survey of 2,000 men ages 18 to 29 separates desire from circumstances: most still want marriage and kids; jobs, money, and finding a partner are the louder brakes.
What hesitation actually sounds like
The survey did not find a mass rejection of commitment as a lifestyle brand. It found friction. Among men who were unsure about marriage or said they did not want it, the top reasons were practical and relational. Forty-four percent said it is hard to find the right person. Thirty-six percent said they are not ready for the commitment. About one in three pointed to not being financially independent. About one in four named the lack of a stable job. Only 16% of the full sample were already married, which fits a country where the median age of first marriage for men is now 30.2. Six percent of 18-to-23-year-olds in the sample had married, versus 25% of those 24 to 29. Education still predicts who gets there earlier. Among men 25 to 29, those with a bachelor’s degree or higher were far more likely to be married (45%) than men without a degree and not in school for one (19%). Relatives who treat “why aren’t you married?” as a character quiz are often arguing with labor-market and schooling math.
Manhood, without the manosphere script
The report also pushes back on the idea that young men mainly learn masculinity from online influencers. When asked who they look up to as role models, mothers (79%) and fathers (69%) topped the list, followed by coaches and teachers (57%). On a list of prominent men, former president Barack Obama ranked high. Online influencer Andrew Tate ranked lowest. Their definitions of manhood were closer to care than to grievance. Eighty-nine percent agreed that being a man requires a willingness to sacrifice for others. Eighty-five percent agreed that manhood involves strength, responsibility, and leadership. That matters for readers heading into Dad Field Notes. The young men in this survey are not mostly asking for a softer exit from family life. Many are asking for a path to become the kind of partner and father their own parents modeled, while money and work keep moving the goalposts.
What to do with this if relatives are diagnosing apathy
If you are dating a man who wants marriage on paper but keeps stalling, ask about the brakes he can name: job stability, debt, housing, or whether he believes he has found the right person. A “not yet” that names money is different from a “never” dressed up as timing. If you are a young man under family pressure, borrow the report’s sentence: most unmarried peers still want marriage; tangible obstacles are doing more work than a sudden collapse of desire. Then pick one concrete readiness step (a savings target, a career move, a clearer dating ask) so “someday” has a next Tuesday. Pair this with IFS and Wheatley’s dating-recession brief, which found thin dating calendars among unmarried 22-to-35-year-olds who still want serious relationships. Desire without practice is its own trap. Our guides on emotionally present Asian dads, being useful in postpartum, and modern fatherhood without the silent-dad script are for the chapter after the wedding, when the aspiration has to become a household habit. And if the dinner table still insists young men do not want families anymore, you can answer with a national sample, not a vibe.
Keep reading: The Asian Dad Learning to Be Emotionally Present, A Dad's Guide to Being Useful During Postpartum, Modern Fatherhood and the Silent Dad, How to Be the Fun Dad and the Useful Dad (Not Either/Or), Dating When Parents Keep Asking When You Will Marry, and When Parents Want Grandchildren Before You Are Ready.
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